Letting Go of Failure … and Success
“Time at Turtleback Falls” Gorges State Park, NC January 2026
Hello Friend,
Early on when I was getting back into photography, I was around a group of people, and we were talking about what we want to accomplish in the upcoming months or year. When I spoke up, I said “I want to better understand and not be afraid of failure” or something like that. At the time I was reading and listening to people who gave me the impression that failure wasn’t what I thought it was. Failure was not what was holding me back, but my attitude towards those “failures” was what was holding me back.
I recently listened to a podcast with author and coach Jim Murphy, where he talked about his book “Inner Excellence” where he dives into this idea at length. What he said at one point really stood out and brought back to me this idea of rethinking failure. He said, “You don’t know what the best thing is for you, outcome wise. To get what you want or not… We never know. Is getting what you want the best thing for you. Or if you don’t get what you want, you now get a chance to come to the edge of your feelings, to expand what you believe is possible, to master your ego by embracing this moment. So, either way you win. All this will help us stay present, which is the key.”
To break this down, we get that the job we wanted, the image we worked for, you won your sporting event, or, fill in the blank for you, great. It’s something you wanted, right? Or we don’t get it. Not so great. Though, we can step back and reassess how important that thing/event was. Then, see how not getting it helps you understand it, your desires for it, why getting it was important to you, how your life or work or art are or are not affected by this outcome.
“Horse Creek from Above” Vaucluse, SC, December 2025
But we all have plans for ourselves, and anything that gets in the way of that plan is a threat. (Like not getting the job, not getting that “great photo”, not winning that contest, not getting into that show, not getting the book deal you want, not…) We often tell ourselves that to get the great stuff or achieve something great, we need to minimize the treats and deal with the costs. Many times that cost is paid by the people around us. And the cost to ourselves is not what we think it is when we pushing away those around us as we pursue our goals, and those are the people most likely to be supportive of us.
When we see something as a failure, are we putting the fault on ourselves and/or pushing the blame on to others? When we take it out on ourselves and on the people around us, are we negatively compounding this one event and missing a bigger goal in life?
Can we step back in that moment and remember what some of our larger life goals were? What does living a fulfilled life look to you? Is it something more than any one individual win/loss, any one accomplished/missed goal or any one short-term victory/failure?
What are some of the things people list when they say what they want in their life: good health, a happy and stable relationship, a purpose in their life, to leave behind a positive legacy. To have meaningful experiences. To accomplish something that might live on beyond themselves. What are some of the larger life goals you have?
If you see any of these as resonating with you, how does this current “failure” really set you back? Or is it an opportunity to evaluate where you are and how this one outcome can help you see the bigger picture in your life?
As Jim puts it, “Letting go of the lollipop and pursuing the whole candy store”. We are obsessed with outcomes and that is what pulls us off track. And these failures (and successes) are opportunities to check ourselves if we really are on the path we want to be on. Are we really pursuing the values we might have expressed earlier.
But might it be, that having successes and achieving bigger things is actually a consequence of perusing a fulfilling life? We are all more likely to be thinking: “I will be fulfilled when I achieve.” When really, it’s much more like: “I’ve achieved because I’m fulfilled.”
“Rainbow Falls in B&W II”
Gorges State Park, NC January 2026
How do we know that what looks devastating now is not part of our training for something more? We don’t know what that “more” will look like. So, if we got it or not, we still have the opportunity to pursue that “more”. Again, as Jim says, it’s a win either way.
Can you look back at a time when you did get what you thought was that most wonderful thing. Did it lead to what you expected? Was it all you wanted? Did it help you create something better down the line? Or was something still lacking? We don’t know the answers to these questions until well after the fact. When we take the time and see the path we are on now that branched off from you getting or not getting what you wanted. Was the path easy, hard, pretty, or desolate? Did you find new companions to travel with you? Was the path lonely? Did it lead to new and exciting things or did it set you back? Again, was that moment the fork in the path happened, something you thought you wanted or was it not getting what you were hoping for at that moment?
I often look back at one of the biggest forks in my road in the past few years. Around 2015 I started getting excited about triathlons. I was always a good swimmer and enjoyed riding bikes and I liked to run. I started reading about the ways to train, bought a road bike and some new running shoes. Throughout 2016-18 I kept a log of my race times and all the others in my age group. But just as I decided to up my game and start competing in Olympic distance tris, I pulled my hamstring. This made it difficult to walk, let alone compete anymore.
Me after finishing my last triathlon. I pulled my hamstring just 100 yards from the finish. May 2018
I was devastated then and still get bummed out about it even now. But all that training time changed over to photo time. If that injury didn’t happen, very likely I would be in better shape and still doing triathlons. Though, I would not have the photographic portfolio I have now. So, was that injury a good thing or a bad thing? Or just a thing that happened?
When I was training and competing in tris, I heard from friends that I was inspiring them to get out more, maybe take up (or get reacquainted with) a sport they like. To be a little more active. Now as a photographer, I hear from friends that I am inspiring to get them out more, maybe take up (or get reacquainted with) an art form they like. To be a little more engaged in the world around them. When I put my situation like this, which is better? To be truthful, I would really like to be competing in tris. But looking at what that life might have been like, I think it would have been much more “me focused” and goal and outcome oriented. To be fair, I do have a competitive streak in me, since I do enter contests and gallery calls all the time.
Though, as a photographer, I am spending more time thinking about larger issues beyond myself such as creativity and community. And as a teacher, I’m helping others find enjoyment in photography. Then again, maybe I would have gotten into coaching/training and helping others find enjoyment in working out.
Patrick Krohn
March 2026
P.S. If you would like hear more about my thoughts on failure, I did a Patreon bonus episode with Matt Payne on his F-Stop, Collaborate and Listen podcast. (It’s free to join.) And if you want, you can listen to Jim Murphy’s conversation on the Rich Roll Podcast.
“Rainbow Falls in B&W I” Gorges State Park, NC January 2026
So, back to the beginning, using this as an example, was it a failure on my part that I was not able to continue with triathlons? Or was it just something that happened in my life? It is a part of who I am, but not something to keep looking back on and blaming myself about. And if I’m going to do photography – or anything creative – for the rest of my life, having a better handle on my failures and successes is going to be important to my overall wellbeing.
A little challenge for us all is to look back at some of those “forks in the path” and see what has happened since. Did something good lead to something better? Great. Did something not good at the moment lead to something better? Also, great. For these outcomes and for those things that did not lead to such good things, is there some space and time now to look back and view them all as moments in your life? Not as good moments or bad moments, just moments to think about and appreciate that helped lead you to here and now.
Thank you, and keep creating what you do.